show u something

• Mummy and I were at home on this rainy sunday
• She took my sunglasses
• she wore it
• "give me! i wanna wear too.."
• I wore it
• TADA!!!! TADAA!!
• her curlers were on....made her look extremely odd! haha!
  

down..down

Have been thinking a lot these days...but at times, thinking so much does not lead me to anywhere. Problems (or i would say obstacles) come one after another. It's as if they don't knock on the door and just barge in without giving any warnings.

I really hate times like these.

It makes me feel very fake about myself, very lousy of myself....as if i'm given a '-10 marks' stamp on my body. When i meet others, i have to put on a fake smile and potray that things are fine...fine enough to handle. But when i'm with myself, those things surge up again. Reality is back...It strikes hard. and in the midst of all these, I just could not find any visible being to talk to.

Most of the times, i break down and cry. It feels like nobody could understand what i'm going through. Many times, i want to find someone else to blame. But as i traced back to the source, i had to blame no one but myself. However, when i blame myself, I tend to dwell in self pity. And that's a bad sign. very bad............

How i wish God could talk to me in an audible voice and just chat with me like a friend. I wished He could sit on my bed, cross His legs and hug His pillow while i hug mine......and just CHAT! chat about anything...ANYTHING....

I hope God will read my blog post

a morning at NUS

I went for medical check up at NUS just a few mornings ago...

it was fun ;)

NUS is huge and so a map was needed to locate the hall designated. The 1st step was to register and PAY $30 for Xray scanning. Kiasu-ism was in the air..no money no talk. The staff nurse then asked me, 'did you bring form M?' I looked at her and OH MY GOODNESS!

I forgotten to bring it!! I thought 'die'...then she asked me again, "so yes or no?"

errr......I was still in a daze. was so terrified and thinking of the next step i should take. "no..didn't bring". But thank God she thought of the next step for me. She went to the computer behind her, punched some letters on the keyboard, then the printing machine beside the com roared. TADA! a piece of paper was ejected.....

it was the substitute form M.
phew......................

filled in some particulars and went for eye test + height and weight. I retained my weight BUT grew by 0.7m! ahaha!!!!! 0.7m!! I can't believe it! People told me i stop growing already...but oh yea, they're trying to trick me. :p eyesight was good...only 1 number read wrongly..the aunty said she let me go :D

now here's the part which amused me.........just so dumb la..

I had to undergo urinal test. well, everybody had to.....so i was given a container. I drank water in the morning but.....................unsuccesful la. I took such a long time in the toilet, just trying to prevent myself from getting paiseh. Anyway, i sneaked out and this guy caught my eye. He looked like a typical nerd but oh well, he lives up to the name i gave him.

He was gulping down so many mouthfuls of water!

I had no water bottle...

I was smarter! ;)

Turned on the tap and literally drunk NEWATER......

and of course..........succeeded!

i can't believe i did that...!

Seashells on the seashore

Redang sounds like rendang and mummy kept pronouncing it as reNdang...hehe.

Anyway, i loooooovvvvvvveeeee oceans! they're to me the best evidence, the best image of God's creation. It's just marvellous to step on soft sand and view the ocean....what more to take your first step into the cooling water?

There were plenty of seashells and so i collected some of them...i found that every shell is different from the other, even if it's of the same kind. There were different colours, sizes, shapes and designs. Unique is the word :)

Actually humans are not any different from shells. Did u notice that? We are as unique as these shells, that God created each of us with different features, skin colour, background, talents, giftings etc. Even the most detailed part of us, our thumb prints, are different.

Each of us are different and there is no point in wanting to be another person. I am in this category, not so much of the physical aspect, but more so of who i am, my character, my abilities. (if u get what i mean). It's more of the inside. It's always a challenge to me when other people are better than me in some way. I tend to feel very lousy and sometimes even tried to be like them, all because i compared.

But of course, there's no way that i can be like them unless i'm them.

I was asking God why didn't i have the gift of leadership (to be exact). I know i do because i lead people to God. But i just want something more...i want to be able to lead without being so self conscious (which i am). I meant leadership not only in yf, but also in school. Truthfully, I wasn't a prefect and a monitress in my schooling days. Even if i was, I was not an effective one.

When i saw these seashells, i was reminded that God created me for a purpose, a unique purpose, to do His work in a different way from others. God's kingdom is so huge! There'll surely be a spot where i can fit in, where u can fit in.....it's just a matter of time i guess.

so do not compare.....it is a redundantly painful process. Just accept the way God created u...and one day u'll be amazed at how He can use u.

One last thing! We met a very adorable girl called nicole during our trip.........she's literally a doll!!!! and i realised she loves me alot ......hehe! :D


isn't she CUTEEEE?

please do not despise me!

In John's gospel, Jesus asked Peter three times, "Do you love me?". Notice the 1st time when Peter answered, "Yes Lord. You know that I love you," Jesus' reply was, "Feed My lambs."

Lambs are the young sheep.

Jesus placed high priority on the lambs. He did not think they were unimportant. To Jesus, feeding the lambs was just as important as feeding the sheep.

well...

On Family day, I was helping out with the water balloons, filling them up with water and tying them tight. Then Joshua (the shelter kid...the cute one. hehe) came along. He wanted to help out. So without permission, he took a balloon and filled it up at the tap. Just a few seconds later, the balloon burst!!

he screamed
i screamed

I was already rushing for the next game and there he was playing with the balloons. I shouted at him.....I couldn't believe i shouted at him! I actually shouted at him! I didn't know why i did that but i was really mean..I think he got scared of me and tried to fill the balloons carefully so it won't burst. Then asked me gently to tie for him..

Oh my goodness....................at that moment he asked me to tie, my heart melted and i regretted, TOTALLY, for shouting at him. I guessed my conscience was pricked. God was teaching me to love them despite their "clumsiness" (in this case).

I did not analyse the passage(above) well enough to catch that point. but now i understood why Jesus said that.
Since He did not underestimate children, so we shouldn't as well..do not think that they're too young for many things; do not think they're immature. Let them be involved in the things that you do..in anything, make them a part of it and not push them away.

They'll be very delighted to be part of your team... :D